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Why do People Lie, Exactly?

There are different kinds of lies, as well as different degrees of lying.

Let’s begin by defining what lying is:

‘‘Lying is saying something with the intent of creating a false belief or impression. It’s an attempt to get someone to believe something that is not true.’’

Sometimes a lie might seem unintentional, or it may have been told to save someone else’s feelings. For example, someone may say to another, “That sure is a pretty dress!”, when the person knows it’s ugly. We all have the capacity to lie.

Why do people lie?

FEAR: People can be so afraid of what might happen if they told the truth. Maybe they have done something wrong and are afraid of the consequences of their actions, so they lie to cover up what they did. As is often said about political scandals: It’s not the crime that gets you in trouble, nearly as much as the cover-up.

MANIPULATION: Lies are typically motivated by a desire to get other people to either do something or not do something, or to make a decision in the favour of the person doing the lying. Someone might lie to get something they desire such as sex, money, status, power, love, etc. Probably the word love is used in more lies than any other. How often a guy will say to a girl (or vice versa), “I love you”, simply to get the other person emotionally stirred-up, so they can be more easily manipulated.

PRIDE: Many times, a person will lie because of pride. They use it for nothing more than a tool to create a favourable image of themselves. This leads to exaggeration, which is a form of lying. Often people will create fascinating, yet completely false, stories to improve their image.

What’s the big deal about lying?

It becomes an addiction.

When you get away with a lie it often drives you to continue your deceptions, and in the process, we ruin relationships, hurt others, lose our integrity, and lose our peace. Truth becomes a feared enemy of the liar. It’s a sick and tragic cycle that doesn’t ever have a happy ending.

‘’Lying may seem simple and harmless at first, but just like any addiction, you’ll soon find yourself trapped and entangled more than you could have ever imagined’’

Liars don’t have peace.

 Lying is extremely stressful. It causes you to be constantly looking over your shoulder and wondering who might be finding you out. You’re always running through the lies you’ve told in your head, trying to keep track of what you’ve told to which person, and what’s the next lie you need to tell. When you’re honest, you don’t have those worries, or the negative consequences of your lies. The fact that you don’t have to worry about remembering old lies or getting in trouble later on when the truth comes out (because it always does) puts a lot more relief in your life. Even when it’s hard, telling the truth always has the better outcome than a bunch of lies.

Lies ruin relationships.

 People are constantly looking to see who they can trust and who they can’t. People are actually much more perceptive and aware of who tells the truth and who doesn’t. Over time, honesty shows itself as a trait that is beautiful and deeply respected.  Liars are not respected.

This is true in all our relationships whether it’s dating, family, friends, or at work.

Honesty Challenge

I want to offer up a challenge to all of us. Would you be willing to commit to a life of honesty and integrity? If you’re up for this life-changing challenge, please tell me, and tell a friend about your commitment too.

For more information and help contact us!!!